Love in the Time of Corona:
first steps to relationship harmony
As lockdown ensues and we all sit around binge-watching TV series and doing online yoga, it may surprise you to learn that since the end of lockdown in China, there has been a surge in divorce fillings − it seems that the strain of life under lockdown finally tipped the balance for many couples.
Love is a weird thing; unpredictable, sometimes confusing, and it often comes down to chance. Then there's the data; conclusions and opinions are mixed when analysing whether close proximity to a partner over an extended period is a good or a bad thing.
The way I see it is that stressful situations can either bring partners closer together or push them further apart. This is dependent on the quality of the relationship: if the bond is a healthy one, in which both individuals have similar intentions and are able to communicate effectively, then they will become even closer and their new-found strength will nourish their partnership. Yet if the relationship is an unhealthy one, where one or both partners have opposing intentions or do not treat each other with respect, then stressful situations will only exacerbate their tension and result in a weakened bond.
Isolation not only brings additional stress into our lives, but also denies us the ability to relieve it in taking part in our favourite activities. This means that when we’re faced with a father who is bad at helping out the kids with their homework, or a partner who gets easily irritated, we are unable to let off steam. Equally, it means that it is much harder to hide away from our own shortcomings.
As lockdown continues to force us (and enables us) to stare straight into the core truths of our relationships, how we face these hurdles will determine whether we sink or swim, and whether we come out the other side stronger. Sharing our emotions with our partners and finding a way to detangle the knots will be crucial.
Maintaining and repairing relationships during this time will be hugely beneficial, and a good place to start is communication and negotiation − research has shown that effectiveness in these areas is essential for high quality relationships.
For example, effective negotiation helps both partners feel equally involved in the process, irrespective of whether it relates to conflict resolution or decision-making. When we negotiate well, we ensure that both partners maintain their self-esteem and protect their interests, and in turn get at least some of what they want without damaging the relationship in doing so. A simple yet challenging first step towards achieving this goal is giving up on the need to be right all the time.
If you feel that you could do with some help and guidance with your relationship, such as managing conflict, developing mutual respect, or setting boundaries − get in touch to find out how we can work together to develop your relationship into a strong and healthy one.