Insomnia during Coronavirus:

what to do to avoid it affecting your relationship

Often when our expectations are compromised, our go-to reactions are either anger or sadness; when we believe our loss was in fact within somebody else's control and that it was preventable we get angry, and if we believe it was not, we get sad. These all-too-common human responses mingle and hold hands during the pandemic as we thought that 2020 was finally going to be our year but, in the end, all our plans have been either ruined or simple cancelled until further notice.

These feelings can develop anxiety, mostly as a result of  the loss of control and uncertainty that we are experiencing. And whilst it is in fact natural to feel anxious considering what we are all going through, too much anxiety can be an issue, especially if it is interfering with your sleep. Elevated stress and an overload of information can prevent your mind from relaxing and elevate the body’s arousal system response, triggering insomnia.

Optimal sleep regulates mood, improves brain function, and increases energy levels as well as overall productivity. Poor quality sleep or a lack of it can seriously affect our relationships. In fact, it has been shown that people with insomnia were four times as likely to have relationship problems, three times as likely to feel depressed and three times as likely to suffer from a lack of concentration. This can often result in a spiral where poor sleep leads to mental health problems which translates in even worse sleep.

At present, most of us spend every waking moment taking yet another look at our screens to access the latest news updates, Covid-19-related educational information or to respond to that friend or relative. The blue light from screen is known to interfere with the production of melatonin (the sleep hormone). So you can see how this is bound to affect our sleep.

Another culprit is the lack of (or rather loss of) structure in our daily lives. Inconsistencies in bedtimes and wake times can disturb night time schedules, and relax the pressure around getting to sleep or waking up, impacting the ability to sleep as this becomes less predictable.

Then there is napping; extra downtime, depressed mood and low levels of energy, alone or in combination can increase the number of long naps we take, which in turn, will make it harder to fall asleep in the evenings.

Some good ways to improve your chances of falling asleep are to avoid screens before bed, create a daily routine and ban or reduce napping. Also, exposure to bright light for an hour every morning will ensure that your circadian system (regulates the 24-hour sleep/wake cycle) stays strong. The best way to achieve this is to be outdoors, and otherwise you can sit by a window. It is important to keep this consistent with your partner, so you should both ideally do this at the same time.

Maintaining your sleep drive is also important; daily physical exercise is crucial, and by this I mean any type of exercise that is both feasible and mildly challenging. Data on physical activity and sleep suggests that less vigorous but consistent exercise derives in longer and deeper sleep.

In order to keep bed time free of worries and make sure that our mind doesn't become overactive the minute our heads hit the pillow, good strategies are scheduled planning sessions during the day, as short- and long-term planning can help gain a sense of control. Keeping a journal in which you write down concerns and things you are grateful for is a great way to separate and compartmentalise thoughts as well as to achieve emotional stability.

But if you STILL don't manage to fall sleep and you are finding things hard, do get in touch to find out how I can help you both with your relationship and life in general.